What is Love?

UNC Senior Aisha Booze-Hall recently sat down with Ms Gladys Pendergraph Brandon, the Director of Heavenly Groceries Food Ministry at St Joseph CME Church, to talk about the nature of love. 

Sometimes the word love is used too loosely. In order to love anyone, you must first love God, then yourself, then you can love others. Love is kindness, forgiveness, selflessness, patience, and being the bigger person. It is when you cherish the whole of somebody, the bad, the good, and the ugliness of who they are. Love shall never be abusive or unforgiving; love shall always be the center of anything that you do. 

When you love someone, you have their best interest at heart. Sometimes we have to set aside what we want for the good of what someone else needs. Love helps everyone to be better people. At the same time, when you love someone it opens you to pain. But pain is not a bad thing because loving someone who can’t love themselves shows them kindness. In return maybe you are opening their heart to something new. 

Love is a very action word. Show the person you love them, if it is your neighbor, your husband, your friend, your sister. It is more than to say ‘I love you’ . You can show people that you love them with a nice kind word or action.

This action between a husband and wife should always be shown. Your husband could wash the dishes, or make breakfast, you could take out the trash, or do the lawn. It is all about sharing between the two of you. Maybe even bring him some flowers, or candy. It is the small things that really pop when you care about someone.

Love should not hurt; it should not put you down. It should not make you feel worthless, or want to hide in a closet. Love makes you feel warm, like you can do anything! Love should tell you that you are worth something. 

The opposite of love is evil. This is when you just want to catch it, before it catches you.

Ms. Gladys read a quote:

He loves me, but when he comes home he beats me.

He says he loves me, when he put me in the hospital,

He says he loves me, when he breaks my arm,

He says he loves me.

What will he say when he kills me and has to buy me flowers?

He loves me.

This was very abusive, and women do not talk about abuse enough. Some women take abuse and interpret it as love but it is control. A man should never put his hands on a women and if he does you need to leave, right there. That talking to you abuse is not love either. Some men think that they have to validate themselves to call them a man. Some women take it because they think that is all that they can get but this is not love. Love covers a multitude of things but that isn’t one of them.

Love shouldn’t hurt. Love should never hurt. 

Love is wonderful, and powerful, and sometimes painful, but love is never damaging.